An overview of parenting styles and the best one for development by Maddie Lowe, EI

Let's face it, parenting can be hard! When you first become a parent there is no true manual you can

study that will prepare you enough to feel truly confident in caring for and raising your sweet bundle of

joy. But despite all the struggles, anxiety, and stress that come with being a parent, the sacrifice you

make to ensure they feel loved, secure, and safe will set your children up for a bright and exciting future.

Though there are different ways to parent a child, there are four fundamental parenting styles that have

been recognized within the field of developmental psychology-permissive, neglectful, authoritarian, and

authoritative. And among these four, research psychologist, Diana Baumrind, has determined that an

authoritative parenting style is the most effective and beneficial style for children to thrive as they age

and become independent adults.

We are going to dive into each parenting style and discuss the impacts each has on a child, but before

we do that, I want you to examine your childhood. And as you read, I want you to identify which one

seems to align most with how you were raised. I want you to dive in and see how it affected yourself

and how it has impacted your techniques in raising your children.

Permissive Parenting

The permissive parenting style centers around the child viewing the parent as a friend. Parents who

follow this style are often very loving and supportive but struggle with establishing appropriate

behavioral expectations. The consequences of this style are that children learn rules are optional, they

have a harder ability to learn self-control, and often struggle to establish a clear trajectory for their lives

as adults.

Neglectful Parenting

The neglectful style is based on a parent being routinely uninvolved in the child's life. A child's basic

needs are often met, but he or she will struggle to feel loved and secure. The effects of this style are

mistreatment, low self-esteem, and poor relational skills. This is not an effective style and should not be

encouraged. Rest assured though, that having your child in early intervention shows that you have not

chosen this style!

Authoritarian Parenting

The authoritarian perspective can be summed up in one popular saying, "children are seen not heard."

Authoritarian parents are strict where unwavering rules are set, respect is demanded, and there is little

consideration for a child's needs emotionally and behaviorally. The consequences of this parenting style

are that a child struggles to understand their emotions, have limited coping skills, and are more

susceptible to high levels of stress, leading to mental health deficits such as depression and anxiety as

adults. A child grows up feeling unloved and devalued.

Authoritative Parenting

The authoritative parent understands the balance of being strict but also loving. This style encourages

open communication between parent and child where both the respect for the child’s needs and a

parent’s expectations are established. Natural consequences for a child’s behavior are the root of

discipline thus he learns for himself what is appropriate and inappropriate behavior. This parenting style

has been proven beneficial for a child to learn responsibility, to become independent, and to develop a

secure sense of self as they age.

A child's overall development is strongly impacted by how he or she is raised. I look at my own

childhood and acknowledge that I was raised in a mostly authoritarian household. This experience has

impacted me in being overly self-critical, feeling devalued by others, and being indecisive in my own

decisions. I have become an overall healthy adult, but it did take a lot of work-work that I do not want

my children to have to do. What parenting style did your parents adopt and how has that affected you?

How will your parenting style affect your children?

The authoritative parenting style is proven to be the most effective and balanced style to help children

develop to their best abilities. This style is encouraged by developmental psychologists, early

interventionists, and other professionals in the field of early childhood education and development. We

want our children to have bright and fulfilling lives and you are taking the steps needed to do just that.

We at KIDS have a passion for helping families and the children we serve to learn the skills and have the

resources needed to follow a balanced parenting style of love and appropriate expectations. If you do

not know how to adopt an authoritative parenting style, talk with your special instructor or service

coordinator, call KIDS, and review the resources below to learn more!

https://www.apa.org/act/resources/fact-sheets/parenting-styles

https://www.verywellfamily.com/ways-to-become-a-more-authoritative-parent-4136329

https://parentingscience.com/authoritative-parenting-style/

Maddie Lowe

Early Interventionist

Kid in Development Services, LLC